..fRaGiLe..

The active person that I am, I have been through several experiences that live reminders on my body. For those who are not familiar with these -- these are called wounds, scars.  My experiences, mostly as a child, include bicycle crashes that have left scars on my forehead, knees, elbows. The most painful, I would say, happened recently.. about 3 years ago when I broke my arm (insights-fr0m-my-broken-arm).

I've found out that breaks in the body never heal 100%.  They always end up weaker than they originally were.  I don't play volleyball and sometimes, intercepting a pass during a game of basketball reminds me of this.  They are marked by scars and scar tissues always seem to break more easily the second time around.

After ages of not blogging, this seems like a proper post for this "Month of Love."  Nothing mushy or that sort of thing in this post though.  Similar to physical wounds, emotional wounds will never recover 100%.  And as a result the victim takes care of this wound, scared because it is now more fragile - more easily to break again.

No matter how much time it takes, coz people say "time heals all hurt", time can never heal anything 100%. Not physical wounds.  Not emotional wounds.  It just is not the way it works.  Once you've been scarred, the scar - the reminder - is always there and gets more fragile every time it breaks.


So, have a care for the people around you.  You may be handling a fragile, emotionally broken soul.  Have a care.  Be sensitive.  They may have trusted you enough to expose their 'weaknesses' to you.  Have a care.  You may not be able to heal them 100% but you may be able to help protect that scar and better yet, help soothe it.

Happy New Year!!!

- Gong Xi Fa Chai!! Just in time for the Chinese New Year!!  I just got this picture from RJ (thefirstgrader.blogspot.com) last night.

- This picture was taken in Tarak Ridge last year, December.  If you notice I was kneeling down.  The winds were so strong that standing for this pic was difficult.

- I believe this year is the year of the Ox which is also the year I was born (1985).  I am expecting a lot this year.  I will also expect to work hard on training which I've already started.

My 2009 Goals:

I have several goals for the year 2009.  Some of them are goals carried over from 2008.  Here are some of them.

1.  Finish a Marathon - This was a goal that I had last year which I didn't get to do.  Running and finishing 42kms is definitely a goal this year.  I was excited about the Philippine Marathon which was supposed to happen on March 8 but was moved.  This gives me ample time to train.  All marathons are scheduled at the later part of the year.  A half marathon - The Cordura Half Marathon - will be held on March 22.

2. Become a Triathlete - I've been bitten by the bug.  And now I'm in the triathlon fever.  I've started training to be a triathlete this year.  My goal is to finish an olympic distance triathlon (1.5km swim, 40km bike, 10km run) but in any case a sprint distance will do.. nothing below that.  Triathlon training could be really tough.  I have to find time to train all three sports during the week. And without a lap pool near by, I ride 14kms to Adventist University of the Philippines to swim, then ride 14kms home.  So far, training is going along fine.  I haven't really cut down on running as I also have to train for a marathon.

So what have I done so far to see that this goals are met?

-  I have been more serious with training.  I've also found out that cross training like cycling could improve endurance during the run.  Just recently, I finished third in a local short-distance run we had.

- I am building a road bike.  Almost complete.  I plan to complete it by next month.  The frame is of time trial geometry (76 deg. of seat angle).  I've been using a mountain bike (MTB) on the road for training which isn't really the use for it.  I plan to start piling in more miles with my TT bike.  I'll post a pic of the bike when it's complete. ^^

..the Key ..?

So I haven't written anything for about a month now.  I have lost all passion of updating my blog; lost passion of running.  I mentioned about losing my passion of blogging to sir Wayne when I met him at the Kabahaginan FUNdraising run back in November... by the way, sir Wayne, it was nice meeting you.

So what have I been to since then?  Nothing.  I've gone to sleep.  The question is WHY? Well, that's a question I couldn't find the answer to.  Similar to me stopping from tricking.  I know a backflip is fairly simple-just a jump and a tuck-but somehow I just lost the feeling to even try one.  Well this is after my broken arm. It's past a year now since the insident and almost a year since the cast has been removed.  I haven't been back to tricking full blast since.  Again, the question is WHY?  And again, it's a question a couldn't find an answer to.  I just couldn't get what is so scary about a backflip (there isn't) specially when I got it on my own will.

I don't want to waste my time searching for the answer of why I lost my passion on things.  Not long ago, I was introduced to running and ran in an event almost every month.  I would hit the road with the Ibanrunner and High Altitude or alone.  What was it that drove me?

Recently, I've picked up on parkour training.  It's really hard work but freedom has it's price.  You gotta work hard to be able to move freely- not being bound by any obstacles.  What drove me to pick up on this?  Since I started, it's been hard training - strength training, technical training - sometimes going for a whole 8 hours ending with a sore body.  But was is it that made me go on despite the pain?

The question I wanted to answer was how to get it back?  How do I get back the desire for the things I once desired up to the point of breaking an arm?  How do I once again rekindle the fire that once burned bright?

The key is to have the desire to get back to it.  I know I want to get back to running so that's where it all starts again.  I remember trying to motivate others who lost their motivation to train parkour.  I remember mentioning that this is why parkour is a discipline - because you gotta keep pushing when you feel like giving up; that this was a mental part of parkour training. Now that I am faced by a similar situation from a different perspective, I ought to be able to get myself back on track.

What have I done about it?  When I feel like I need motivation, I go back to the things that started it all.  I watch videos, read testimonies, talk to passionate people, read articles and think.  I just read the blog of Ani de Leon, the first resident Filipino to qualify for and conquer Kona (the ultimate Ironman).  Reading this just sparked my dormant desire for the triathlon.  So long have I been eyeing the Ironman, maybe I won't get there, but the desire to train has returned.

So what now?  I'll get back to training! ...but after my ankle heals.  ^^ I haven't run in a month and two weeks ago, when I decided to run, I sprain my ankle...in a basketball game. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it could've been it didn't even swell.  But feeling the tear when it happened, I've decided to rest it.  Then last night, I twisted it twice again!! Last in another basketball game! STUPID!!! Now I'm really going to wait for it to heal or it's going to become chronic.

So is there a universal key to RE-motivating? The answer is yes - The WANT to RE-motivate yourself. :)